It’s not just a river in Egypt.

Ha. I know, it’s a very old joke.  But literally the first thing that immediately popped into my head.

The second thing was – being shaken out of denial is a painful process, one I recently went through, and couldn’t really find the words to write about…hence, my blog-silence.


I lost my much beloved senior chow mix, Cabo, in February, after battling severe arthritis and spinal disc issues for months.  It came as a shock to me that we would have to be the ones to decide his fate on “quality of life” issues.  I had always assumed that when my cherished animals passed, for whatever reason (denial?), it would be something so obvious and fatal that pressed the issue, not a matter of us making a life and death decision on pain and mobility.  For months, we resisted the decision, until we had exhausted vet after vet, treatment after treatment, and one vet finally looked at my husband and said, “He is worn out, you know.”  We knew then that despite our denial of the idea, we were going to have to decide ourselves to let him go.

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My sweet boy, when he still had a little get up & go

To say it broke my heart is an understatement.

Still profoundly grieving from the loss of Cabo, a few weeks later my very dear aunt was suddenly struck by a bus and killed.  She had been a surrogate mother to me when I was very young, and my parents divorced.  My mother lived in Korea, and my father, in the Army, was being posted to Vietnam. So I went to live with my aunt and uncle on the East Coast for nearly two years, while my father was overseas.  They raised me as one of their own, and even after my father remarried and I left to live with him and my stepmother, they continued to stay very close and dear to me.

I had not seen my aunt in years, thinking all the time, “I need to go see her.”  But there was always something that got in the way, and I always pushed it off.  Denial. Denial of the relentless march of time, eating away at our opportunities.


The best day I ever had with my aunt – Summer, 1987

I made it home, back to the East Coast, finally.  For her funeral.  I would like to think my aunt was okay with that, and just happy that I was once again clutched in the bosom of my family, embraced by my surrogate siblings – her children, my cousins, and their kids, loving them, enjoying them, ready to stop denying that we all have an expiration date. Because no matter how much we deny it, we all do.


via Daily Prompt: Denial


It’s that time of year. Renewal.


I was in the mood to write something snarky at first, but after I spent a little time thinking about this subject, my mood definitely changed to something more wishful and contemplative.

Every year, after the merry excesses of the Christmas (or Hanukkah, or whatever winter holiday you choose to celebrate, if at all – there, I think I covered everyone, right?) we all seem ready for that fresh start that a new calendar year brings to us.  The inspirational quotes about renewal, beginnings, and new possibilities start making the rounds. This year, especially, there is a real fervency about getting a new slate of 365 days to bring about the things we hope for, and possibly make up for a cruel 2016.  I mean, seriously – although each year brings about its share of ups, downs, heartbreaks, and joys, I truly feel like 2016 seemed especially brutal – so I’m definitely down with this whole spirit of renewal and new beginnings.

Personally, I don’t make new year resolutions.  I learned at a young age that they are useless.  Change only comes about because you truly want it, and not because the calendar says it’s January 1st.  But I do try to call to mind each January my hopes for the coming year, and almost always they look something like this, from two of my favorite wordsmiths:



Go on…you can do it too. Join the fun, the hope, the longing, for a much better 2017.  We can all hope, right? We can all choose to renew that faith in a better tomorrow, and maybe it will come.

via Daily Prompt: Renewal

Youth and Folly

folly noun fol·ly \ˈfä-lē\ the lack of good sense or judgment a foolish act or idea : foolish behavior a very unusual or fancy building that was built in a garden for decoration or amusement in the past As a … Continue reading