Finding…me.

I read a great blogpost the other day, about finding meaning from within…

Zen enlightenment is the path to finding purpose from within. It is a journey inward to find meaning beyond material possessions and external rewards. To feel joy in everything you do and find peace, harmony and contentment from within.

However, finding meaning from the inside is no easier than finding meaning on the outside. Just because you journey inward doesn’t mean your answers will be found. In fact, a journey to find purpose is still a journey to find meaning someplace else.

And this is the essence of zen enlightenment. It is a path inward, a commitment to looking at yourself without judgment, desire or expectation. To reveal the hopes and fears that drive you. To honestly look into the dark corners and scary places hidden away and long forgotten. To reach acceptance of the world as it is and the person you are, as you are.

Hmm.  Not sure if I can truly pull off that kind of inner scrutiny.  BUT.  I do feel like I can withstand a little “getting to know you” time with myself.  How often do we check in with the person we are right now, instead of just continuing to perpetuate the person we once were, or, worse, the person others want us to be?

Not often.

So maybe this is good fodder some blogging…starting right now.

One thing I know for sure, and can finally admit without a teenager’s dread of humiliation and scorn…I am a bookworm.

I adore books, in all their forms, and I spent more than a scary part of my childhood with my nose stuck in one.  I may not be always reading, but I am almost always thinking about what I am going to read next.  I browse books online and in stores much in the same way other women shop for shoes – with hope, desire, and covetousness; trying to figure out how to make room for them in my world, where to put them, and trying to ignore how much I spend on them.  I used to just adore books in their paper form, but the one thing about electronic books is you can feed your addiction immediately, with the push of a button…!  There is no greater comfort to me than to lose myself in a book, and I will at times voraciously consume one after the other, after the other…!


A book is like a garden carried in the pocket. ~Chinese Proverb

 

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